Here’s a Twitter Rewind. I mentioned these #SantorumLogic tweets in my post about Rick Santorum’s campaign failing due to his obsession with me: http://www.daviscomedy.com/2012/04/rick-santorum-back-off-my-junk-bro/. In that post I mentioned that these may have been where it all started. History will be the judge, I suppose, but for now I’m willing to let you play the part of History. If you have a favorite or favorites, please feel free to retweet them or comment below. If you enjoyed the post in general, please his the Facebook Like or Google+ share button above or below the post. Gracias!
Here they are, in the order I posted them:
The topic of Rick Santorum requires more than 140 characters to properly paint his level of douche
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 22, 2012
In honor of Rick Santorum and his anachronistic beliefs, I will type in his voice for the next two hours or so with: #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 22, 2012
Women have no place in labor. Did you forget what happened the last time a woman picked fruit? #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
I love the bible, it’s full of all kinds of stuff I already agree with #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
I think women have the right to choose all sorts of things, they can even decide what to cook a coupe times a week #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
We don’t need a national education system, every State should get to choose the bible versus they want to teach #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
Who didn’t love the 1950s??????? #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
I’m not shocked by the filth that shows up when you Google my name, computers are witches shaped like small tvs #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
Not even rape victims should have abortions. If you were home & married & not all job-slutty u wldn’t be prego w/a rape baby #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
If you are already pregnant with your husband’s baby, like you should be, then you wouldn’t need to abort a rape baby. #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
When Jesus wrote the constitution, he said “all MEN are created equal,” Ladies. #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
If we could outlaw pregnancies, we could put a stop to abortions #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
Jesus loves you, and if you would quit being so poor you wouldn’t be dying of cancer #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
Providing health care to sick people interferes w/God’s plan to call them home #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
If women would stay in the kitchen, they wouldn’t be all whorey & needing birth control #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
If women would get married BEFORE they got their first period, like in bible days, we wouldn’t even have condoms #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
Newt wants a moon colony, I just want to build a glass tree house on top of a mountain to watch Jesus while he sleeps #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
Jesus has probably tried to come back like 6 or 7 times, but the 14 year old his dad banged was already on birth control #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
They didn’t use birth control in Jesus’ time, and there was NO AIDS #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
I’m totally fine with women voting as long as their husbands tell them to vote for me #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
If women weren’t supposed to be at home all day doing chores, then why was Oprah’s show on in the afternoon? #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
Sex w/a woman is for making babies, If you want to have sex for fun, do the Catholic thing and fuck a boy #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
Condoms probably CAUSE AIDS #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
Scientists are just witches dressed up like doctors (also probably witches) #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
Jesus doesn’t like homosexuals, that’s why two men can’t have a baby. #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
I’m fine with women working outside the home, as long as the offices are set up boy-girl-boy-girl so their cycles don’t sync #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
Every baby is a gift from God, except all the grown up babies that are sinners and heathens that are going to burn in hell #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
A lot of women like to work outside the home… they’re called whores. #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
There’s no reasons to have sex except to have a baby, I mean have you seen a vagina? They’re Gross!! #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
The president wants to turn this country into Europe. Europe! That’s not even a country! #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
It’s gonna be so sweet when I become president and Jesus comes down and sings the national anthem at my inauguration #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
If science is so good, then why did god give me a brain incapable of understanding it #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
People accuse me of not respecting women, which is crazy. I respect women, as long as they’re quiet & know their place #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
The laws in this country need to be based more on the bible and less on stuff I disagree with #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
I dismiss the works of most philosophers b/c their names remind me of gay porn titles i have definitely not masturbated to #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
The Dems want to turn this country into Godless-France. France! They’ve been our enemy since the beginning! #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
We could solve the economy if everyone has more babies, the jobs that would create would be amazing #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
I’ll pick a side on the Internet privacy issue as soon as we all agree the internet is the devil #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
Satan is trying to butt fuck America, you better elect me before we are all covered in santorum #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
