I don’t know exactly what was going here, but I can assure you it has taken me back a bit. Maybe it was #SantorumLogic tweets from awhile back, like this one:
Jesus loves you, and if you would quit being so poor you wouldn’t be dying of cancer #SantorumLogic
— Matt Davis (@MattDavis) February 23, 2012
that got him all “into” me, but I have mixed feelings. On the one hand I’m thankful for the exposure, while on the other I really don’t need any more crazy people following me around. I’m also not too sure he has actually listened to/watched any of the clips he has been posting to his Facebook. Ah, but what the hell… maybe he’ll end up appointing me as ambassodor to Wonka Town or some other places that sounds as ridiculous and made up as his beliefs. [UPDATE: I guess not, actually. Considering his obsession with me must have become too encompassing for his staff to cover up and he has now suspended his campaign]
Enough chatter, here are the screen shots I grabbed before his staff edited them (images link to the corresponding video):
“And jesus said, if you smoke pot you get 10 to 20!”
That has nothing to do with any establishments… unless you count the establishment of mermaid pussy. I know I do.
Who in the shit dick are you to judge ordinary? On the other hand, comedically speaking, I am walking on fucking water during parts of that.
Again, are we still talking about Mermaid pussy?
Join the fight? Rick, you do realize I’m talking about getting hand jobs in this clip, right?
UPDATE: And then of course all this led up to today’s announcement of his suspending his campaign; an announcement you would THINK he would at least try and leave me out of. But as you can see, his obsession with me is present even in his final moments:
I can’t help but feel guilty that in some way his obession with my (and probably my junk) sidetracked his campaign and any chances he may have actually had on the National Stage. Listen, I’m not saying I’m Jesus or anything… I’m implying that he is implying it.
And just to clarify for any Rick Santorum supporters that are confused by this evil internet machine: Every above is true and definitely not photoshopped! It’s as real as when Jesus beat the Globe Trotters and then they all banged in the Scooby Doo Mystery Machine van to celebrate liberal gun control laws.
