The Sun, a little known independent tabloid rag over in the U.K.(<– sarcasm), posted a story today (January 12, 2012) about a women that might be the greatest spokesperson for Double Bubble chewing gum ever conceived, Hazel Jones. With a name befitting an adult film star, the 27 year old went on ITV’s This Morning to reveal details of a medical condition called uterus didelphys (link to Mayo Clinic reference) that has, according to accompanying doctor Dawn Harper, left her with two vaginas.
You fucking heard me: TWO VAGINAS.
Let’s all just go ahead and say it again, this time in a larger font:
TWO VAGINAS
Luckily, Ms. Jones didn’t have the issue diagnosed until she was 18 and was able to lose her virginity (twice); never having to suffer the inevitable sexual isolation that would’ve been brought on by intimidated, taunting classmates. Why the hell she would want to reveal this on television is beyond me, but I’m glad she did. And I’m glad, if for no other reason, because it affords me the opportunity to sophomorically once again type:
TWO VAGINAS
I should also state for the record, that I don’t care if this is real or not. But what I truly wish, above all things, is that this is all a part of some new marketing strategy from the Double Bubble chewing gun people to finally put a stop to those annoying Double Mint Gum commercials.
Here’s the video link: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/video/tv-biz/4054198/Woman-with-two-vaginas.html
Let us all take a moment, to hope/pray/wish/reflect/demand that this story ends in a webcam site called TwoInEachPink.com
And lastly,
