crappy beard & the dome house since the 4th

Im way behind on updates regarding The Fun House, or The Crowd Walkers Regret Compound Learning Annex Dome Building 300-10% x 3 = Seans Place as Im currently calling it in an attempt to keep the titleas long as possible. But Ill try to at least bring myself up to speed.
4th of July was eventful in an uncomfortable to-close-to-be-a-voyeur kind of way.

Paul, Seanathan, and myself met Julian and Josh Goguen at Julians lake house on the false promise of some elaborate food layout (hence Pauls attendance). It rained, Julian didnt have the key to get the jetski things out and there wasnt enough beer to pass out, so instead we bet Paul he couldnt swim to the other side of the river/lake/collection of polluted water with a dock. We agreed if he made it to the other side we come get him in the boat and give him some amount of money (I forget the amount b/c none of us actually had any cash on us) for not dying. Somehow, after an hour or more of thunderstorms, convincing, and eating hamburgers he actually agreed. Now Ill be honest, I had no real intentions of coming to get him from the other side, I didnt think he could make the 50 yard swim that he thought it was (it looked more like 300 yards couldve been more) and I couldve sworn Julian had already told me he didnt have the keys for the boat. 
So off Paul goes, stripped down and swimming in the rain across Ringworm Creek or whatever its called. 
By now Julians wife and her friend Gargamel (I think thats her name) are mad because this is how people get killed, people start drinking and betting and the next thing ya (it went to white noise about here, Pauls in the water 20 feet out and I cant tell if that was thunder I just heard or a distant boat)
Somewhere in the bitching Julian told Paul we couldnt get the boat, and he swam back yelling some calculation as to how far he swam and percentage of the wager he was owed. I cant prove the next part, but what I believe happened is Paul realized he wasnt going to get his money so went in the bathroom, channeled the remnants of the last four meals (easily 246lbs worth of buffet and corndogs) and backed up the plumbing so bad it started bubbling up through the tub. I heard a kid scream and the next thing I knew everyone was leaving (as far as know the tub is still how we left it). 

With the river house septic, we progressed our festivities to a fair. A damn fair. I had been told the Independence Day goings on of this little town near us were legendary, the biggest 4th of July celebration in the world, and a host of other obvious falsehoods so we went. Paul, Seancy, Josh, Joshs Wife Jenny, The baby in Joshs Wife Jennys Uterus, and myself all drove to 1956, aka Faith, NC. Many of the details Ive blacked out, what remains is a blurry slideshow of fat 13 year olds missing teeth, holding babies, pounding down fried turkey legs, elephant ears, foot long corn dogs, and generally enjoying illiteracy. I wanted to embrace it the way you try to embrace being too fucked up to talk, quietly vomiting on yourself and smiling but that would have lead to sleep and since I couldnt tell who was working from who was attending this whos who of moonshine distillers that was less than an option. I did make the mistake of reading a sign out loud, caught some looks, the glimmer of a pocket knife, bought myself something with powdered sugar and we left. Im forgetting a lot here but as I said much of that experience is being stored in that special place in the mind shell shocked vets keep closed via prescriptions.

Got back the dome, showered, cried, and drank a 12 pack. Kerry came in the next day (hed been out of town having sex with people I think). He checked his voice mail for four and a half hours per standard protocol and we sat around talking and drinking tea like the Golden Girls did whenever Maude couldnt sleep. Paul ate a corndog, Seantrick stopped up the toilet, I crashed out to make a 600+ mile drive and do a radio remote at a strip club the next day. Leaving out at 4ams never a problem from the compound, theres generally someone up to assist in the wake up call. And just for the record regardless of how asleep you think you are, Folgers in your cup is fuckall compared to Kerry coming in your room with a rifle yelling something about I think I can get a shot at this deer through your window. But I was up at 4am and on the road, rather alert.

I came back, knocked out some SIN shows, Paul watched animaniacs, I got rather annoyed by a large mouth bass and in turn pissed of said bass, Kerry got a video of Joe Zs Komodo dragon necked cock and emailed it out to everyone (ask him about that one if you dont know.. its an impressive series of events),and Seanifer stopped up the toilet 76 times shitting stumps or whatever he does up there.

I got a root canal in bham flew to Kansas and came back with bronchitis or the avian flu or some shit, got it medicated and came back to the dome to learn Spanky Brown fell through the steps on the back porch after they collapsed from a combination of faulty repair work and well Spanky Brown. He wasnt hurt and wouldve had a nice uninterrupted night of rest, but he instead decided to stay at the El Compoundo Del Fireworks. Seems Seanison and John from the Salty Caper played a little firework hot potato game in a drunken blur out in the driveway (and possible in the house), not sure who won or what the rules were… hate I missed it and the barrage of Hot burnin bullshit sayings I know Spanky had echoing across the soy bean field.

Kerry and I sat at the coffee shop debating the distance to the outer banks before I made what he called a smoky and the bandit run straight to the club for show, did the show and then drove 5 hours through swamp land directly after it because Im a dumbass. The swamp land of NC btw is not the place you want to pull over at 3am with no sleep to take a leak you dont need your mind running wild and the dark playing tricks on you in a place where your imagination pales in comparison to the shit that really lives out there. Worked that week with a comic with one arm (Brian Archer funny dude) and only bring that up b/c the next night did a show at a place where the door guy was a dwarf while everyone else was 7ft tall and 400lbs, the walls and ceiling were large checkerboard and they had roughly 2409 fans of all sizes tacked up everywhere and running – kinda like Willy Wonkas version of that fan department in Home Depot only dimly lit and dirty. It was a craps table away from being exactly how I imagine the devils vagina.
I havent shaved since Wichita (in part from the root canal crap, in part because Im just too lazy/tired to care at this point) hence the crappy beard. No one seems to mind it where I am currently. Paducah, KY a town which I believe may resemble something more accessible if the aforementioned devil were positioned face down.